THERE WAS A WHITE MAN.

Woohoo!

I got a call yesterday from the receptionist at the MS Clinic saying they just had a cancellation and they had an appointment to offer me...THIS MONDAY.  I’m totally stoked because if they didn’t have that cancellation spot I would have to wait foreverrr.

I’m bringing my big binder of medical history with me because I’m sick of having to re-explain everything every time I go see a new doctor!  I have a chronological list of my symptoms and my appointments and stuff all typed out so that I don’t have to try to remember it all off the top of my head.  It’s way easier to have the doctor just read it all than have to spit it all out for them!

Anywhooo, I will let you all know what the doc said!  Maybe monday, but probably tuesday cause I’m lazy!  And it’s all the way out at the UBC Hospital... And day trips take a lot of my energy, damn the fatigue.

Also, it’s super nice out so we’re all going to the beach tomorrowww.  I’m so albino I need some sun!  I bought some shorts today and my legs are so freakishly pasty it’s ridiculous.  So it’s time for some tanning!  Real tanning.  Not that fake n’ bake crap!

I have a major issue with fake tanning... I mean it’s bad for you and it LOOKS fake.  Why do girls do that to themselves?  I rather have my pastiness than cancer and an orangey unnatural looking fake tan.  Going fake tanning  When I go “tanning” outside I still have like SPF 30 sunscreen on and I still get sun!  The reason I’m so white right now is because I have been working indoors for 2 years and I can’t just go tan during that day cause it’s a 9-5 job.  And the health problems don’t really help the situation, you don’t really feel the need to drive down to the beach and stuff after work when your back is killing you!

Oh, and I haaate waiting.  A lot.  Did I mention that before?

I’m still waiting to know if I’ve been accepted into that school program!  Ugh.

WHEN YOU JUMPED THROUGH MY CEILING YOU LET AN OWL IN.

Hargle Blargh.

I hate waiting for doctors.  I have been referred to an neurologist at the MS Clinic at UBC.  It’s been over a week since I’ve been referred and I have yet to get a call about getting an appointment!  I’ve been told the wait list is about 12-18 months.  Woot.  I’m so not excited to wait a million years to see a doctor, just so they can tell me that I either have a debilitating disease...or that they still don’t know what’s wrong with me!  In the mean time my GP has started me on medication so I can at least continue to work until I get that appointment.  So far I think the medication has been helping, but it makes me sleepy and I don’t ever feel like I’m hungry!  And when you don’t feel hungry, you forget to eat... Like today!  

I ate lunch around 2:00pm at work, I had about half a sandwich from a little deli/bakery (and it was a super yummy chicken caesar panini) but then I was full so I kept the other half.  And that was all I had eaten all day!  So when I got home and started organizing my new room... I started getting really dizzy and everything was spinning.  And when you feel like that the last thing you want to do is eat!  It really sucks that what fixes the spinning is food, but you feel like if you eat...it’s just going to come right back up!  So I sat on my bed and slowly drank a grape juice box and ate a whole bunch of soda crackers so I didn’t pass out.  I am apparently not quite used to the whole medication dealio!

Oh, and I have officially applied to a college program :O

Yeah.

Never thought that would happen.

I’m kiiind of excited and I’m just waiting to see if I’ve been accepted so I can register for the fall program.  It’ll be weird because I have never actually done a real college program.  All the other “post-secondary” type things I’ve done have been kind of a “do it in your spare time” kind of thing... So this’ll be interesting!  It’s kind of nice to be slowly figuring everything out, at least there are some answers in my future.

The boyfriend is almost done school and then he gets to join the real world... Just as I take myself out of it!  I get to start school basically right after he finishes his program.  There is some time in between there for a little bit of a vacation though, so I’m happy!

My new room is nice!  My sister started her new job and moved to Whistler, so I get her old room.  It’s painted and everything is moved in now, and I’m allllmost done organizing it all.  All my clothes are either on my clothing racks or on the shelves in my closet, my make-up is organized (I just have to clean my brushes!), and my food cupboard looks awesome!  And I finally have ARTWORK ON MY WALLS!  I’m so stoked on that because in my old room I had zero art and now I have art and plants and awesomeness :)

I'm sort of, slightly, just a little bit addicted to owls.  I absolutely love them, so when I found this awesome colourful owl painting at IKEA I really HAD to have it!  It was like $12.99 and It's actually a decent size.  And the Vancouver skyline painting was done by a friend of mine (Holly Johnson).

I

I also got a little bonsai tree (I've alwaaays wanted one, and I found this lil' guy at Home Depot for just a couple bucks!  Needs a little TLC, but they're so cute!)

Oh, and I got this awesome new sweater (at Value Village of course!), it's originally from Spain and I think it's awesome.  The top red part is made out of real leather, it has an awesome lining on the inside and it's super comfy... And it cost me a whole $5.99+tax!

WHEN HE WAS SWALLOWED BY A YAWNING HIPPOPOTAMUS.

Chaaaange.  Lots of it.

I’m slowly but surely attempting to plan out my future!  It’s rather stressful and the current lack of money is not helping.  I’m in the process of figuring out how to get into the school programs I want, and I’m have to try to find a way to work full-time while I’m also in school full-time... Yeah... Ugh...

______________________________________________________________________

This past weekend was my one year anniversary with my amazing boyfriend!  We went out for dinner and then drove all the way out to the middle of no where to watch a movie in a big field.  Drive-in movie theatre’s are awesome.  You pay the same amount as a regular theatre, but you get to see 2 or 3 movies!  We saw the Avengers again (which is an awesome movie, so we didn’t mind seeing it again even though we had just seen it the weekend before).  We would have stayed for the next 2 movies (John Carter and Underworld: Awakening), but the Avengers didn’t start until 9:00pm and it’s a looong ass movie!  And I had to work the next morning so we didn’t want to stay out until 4:00am.  We will probably do an all-nighter at the drive-in sometime this summer because it’s awesome, and once it hits July/August it’s nice and warm out at that hour!

Super awesome boyfriend of mine also bought me a new charm for my Pandora charm bracelet.  It’s a really cute silver one with a bunch of tiny peace signs all over it!  It’s perfect because we both happen to have peace sign tattoos :) <3

______________________________________________________________________

I’m looking forward to getting some more ink after the summer.  I don’t want to get anything until the fall because you can’t go out in the sun, or go swimming with a fresh tattoo!  And I’m hoping to get some time off work to head up to the boyfriend’s trailer at Cultus Lake.  It’s super pretty up there and I need some vacationing!  There is a pool and a hot tub up there (and I’m hoping some sun!) so I don’t want a fresh tattoo to hold me back from enjoying the summer.

______________________________________________________________________

I get to go to yet another doctor appointment tomorrow.  Woot.  I’m really getting sick of these!  It’s been a year and a half since I started doing all this and it has gotten me no where.  No one seems to know anything and the specialists don’t really seem to care!  All they say is “Well you certainly are an interesting case.” which really means “I don’t know shit about your condition, so lets just take a random guess at a treatment and hope it works.”

I’m really hoping all this crap gets figured out soon so I can actually enjoy this summer!  It’s no fun when doing absolutely any activity causes a crap load of pain :(

Oh and I can’t do the school full-time and work full-time thing until it all gets figured out... Cause I can barely work part-time as it is!

______________________________________________________________________

TELL ME WHAT ELEPHANT GAVE YOU HICKEYS.

I had no idea that taking care of the pets in my house took so much effort.  I usually only have my cat to take care of, but since my family is in Saskatchewan this weekend I have to take care of all of them!  For some reason we have 3 dogs, a cat, a tank of fish, and a bird... When you’re only used to taking care of a cat who requires little attention, it’s quite the change to remember that all the other pets need to actually be fed... You can’t just leave the food out, you actually have to put food in the bowl for them!  I have decided when I get my own place I will have one dog and one cat... and that is IT.  I have no desire to have fish or birds or anything, just a cat and a dog and I’m set.

I’m attempting to save what little money I have to get some new rock climbing gear!  I used to have shoes and a chalk bag and everything, but that was a while ago and I cannot find either of them.  I need new shoes anyway cause I doubt the old ones would fit even if I could find them.  I found about $300 worth of stuff at Mountain Equipment Co-op (my dad’s favourite store), and I’m really hoping it won’t take long to come up with the money!  But, when you only make $800/month it takes a lot longer than you would think.

I also went to yet another specialist and he suggested acupuncture.  I’ve gone a few times and it helps a bit, but not for very long and it’s $60/visit so I don’t want to have to keep paying for things that only help for like a day!  I guess it’s time to make another GP appointment and find yet another specialist to go see.  Woot.

THEY LET ME WALK INTO A CLOSET.

NDP ads on YouTube. Seriously?

I find it ridiculous that political parties are now advertising on YouTube. It’s broadcast yourself, not your politics. I’m not a fan of product and service ads either, but political ads are taking it too far. I honestly could care less about politics... All the parties suck. When you go to vote you really are choosing the lesser of the evils. There is no real stand out winner to pick, all of them have issues and all of them lie and make promises they can’t keep! I prefer to keep my social media and video streaming sites politic-free!

Anywaaay, speaking of YouTube... I’m thinking of starting a VLOG. Yeah. I’ll obviously keep this blog going too, but I miiight try my hand at making videos! If you guys have any ideas for blog posts (or future vlog posts), let me know please!

___________________________________________________________________________

I went to see another specialist last week. You would think it wouldn’t take a million years to figure out what is wrong with me, but nope... Still no answers. There can not be THAT many things to rule out before we come to a diagnosis! I mean it’s been a year and a half and I still have yet to find any relief... I mean you try not having a pain free day in a year and a half and still be all happy and not frustrated with the entire planet! Too much stress and I don’t like it.

God this is a depressing rant of a blog post! I promise I’ll post some less angry posts sometime soon. ;)

On another note:

My boyfriend is super awesome and helped his crippled girlfriend take a bunch of bottles to the bottle depot! We got a whole $8.35 back from that... And then we promptly spent most of it on an energy drink and some mountain dew. He’s pretty much what keeps me going. He always tells me everything will work out and be okay and gives me a massage when I need one (which is pretty much 24/7). I really don’t think I could survive without his awesomeness. :)

And on yet another note:

The rogers video store by my house (that shut down because Netflix is cheap and sooo much easier), will be turning into a fabric store! I’m excited because then I won’t have to drive like 20km to get fabric and I might actually start sewing again!

I’m going to challenge myself and try to buy all my clothing from a thrift store for the next 6 months! I’m going to do that so I can be über hipster and find stuff that no one else has. And when that fabric store opens I’m going to try to make some of my own clothing so that I’ll be super unique and have self made stuff that no one else can get!

Oh, and just because:

Today's nails! 'Cause they're pretty damn cute if I do say so myself :)

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. I KNOW YOU STOLE THAT GOAT.

Money money money. Ugh.

So I’m slowly realizing I make like $0/month. Not literally, but I usually have about $5 left over at the end of each month! I’m not even spending it on shopping and fun stuff... I’m spending it on food, chiro, massage, and physio. Oh, and my car. Ugh. Why is it that the necessities are so expensive? Like seriously... $50/visit for physiotherapy?

I found out a couple days ago that my physio is no longer covered by MSP, so instead of it costing $10/visit... it now goes up to the private fee of $50/visit! And my chiro is usually $10/visit, but when I called my physiotherapy office asking why I was no longer covered they told me that I can only get 10 visits of physio, chiro and massage (combined) each calendar year covered by MSP. So they have no idea why I’m still only paying $10 for my chiro... Since I’ve been going to chiro twice a month since November I should be paying the full $45/visit there as well! So now if I go to my chiropractor next week and they tell me I have to pay the full $45/visit there now too... I can’t afford it. I already should be seeing them more than I am, because their treatment only helps for a matter of hours after the visit right now! It sucks because if I cut out my chiro and/or physio it will cause more back pain than I already have... Which will make work a lot more difficult that it already is and I will end up cutting my hours which will cause me to be making even less money than I already am!

Oh and every doctor I visit still does not know what is wrong with me. So that’s even more fantastic! The rheumatologist says it’s not my joints, so it has to be my muscles. So now my GP is sending me to a naturopathic type doctor to see if he can figure out what’s wrong with me! So I have to wait 2 more weeks until that appointment... Ugh, ugh, ugh. Apparently ‘ugh’ is the theme of this blog post!

I’m enjoying my new job, it’s a lot less physically demanding than my old one and it’s great to be so close to home. I’m making a lot less money though, which is causing a lot of my stress... I’m making about half as much as I used to make. I’m thinking about getting a second job to pay for all my expenses, but I need to have at least one week day off to go to all my appointments. So I can only work one extra day/week! Not many places are hiring someone for just one day a week. And plus, my boss likes to have me available for any day so I can come in if he needs me! I’m not really sure how to go about finding this second job anyway... It was a lot of work to find this one! And if I do find one, it needs to be one I can physically handle, and I’ll probably end up going to physio and chiro even more, which costs more money and the circle goes on and on and on. This stress is also not helping my back at all, so it’s really just an infinite loop of ‘Ugh’.

Also, I really with I could go into my dream job of something in fashion (or even hair/make-up). But, I physically can’t. It really sucks when you know that even if you spend the $10,000-$15,000 on school to get to your dream job... It won’t matter because your body will not physically be able to handle the job.

My best friend is starting hair school in about a week, and I totally wish I could be joining her! I think it would be really awesome. But, until I’m diagnosed with something and start getting treatment that actually helps for more than a few hours (not to mention something that doesn’t completely wipe out my bank account!), I won’t be able to make any decisions regarding my future. I can’t afford to pay that much money for school when I know that I might not be able to handle the actual career. Ugh.

I really just can’t seem to win lately and it’s getting really frustrating. I have yet to find a solution to any of my problems, and no one else has an ideas either. UGH.

(On another note: I’m very happy I have a super awesome boyfriend to help me through all this! I love you babe <3).

I KILLED A DRAGON AND ITS SOUL DIDN'T COME OUT.

Sooo...today’s post is going to be about my new obsessions. You know what, they might not even be new, but they’re still my current obsessions!
First off: Wedddinngggsss. Yeah. Dangerous subject for women to be talking about! It get’s us all anxious for the boys in our life to propose! I’m like one million percent sure my current boyfriend is “the one”. I’ve never been with someone who makes me feel so happy! Even if I’m sad about something (usually some new health problem), he’s always there to make me laugh and smile and make me feel better. He’s always there for me and I love him for that :)

We can be our complete selves around each other...which is the way a relationship should be! We are the most retarded, goofy, silly couple you will ever meet and that makes me happy.

When we do decide to get married I pretty much know what I want in a wedding...all those damn wedding shows on TV these days has cause me to basically plan an entire wedding in my head...

I have a couple dresses in mind, a venue, the type of food I want to serve, and a whole lot of other little details! It’s not that I think about the subject all day long...but when I see it on a TV and I think it’s a good idea...it just kind of stays in my brain like: “This would be a fantastic idea to have at your wedding when you get married...REMEMBER IT”.I found a couple dresses I’m in love with. They are completely different styles, and I can’t decide which one I’d actually want to wear! I’d have to try them both on and see if they’re comfortable enough for me to wear all day and night. It sucks because I totally want a gorgeous corseted dress with a big tulle skirt...but with my spine being all retarded...I probably wouldn’t be able to carry the dress! So I would have to prance around the wedding dress store in the gown for like an hour to see if I’d be able to handle it or not! The last thing I want is to be in pain on my wedding day.

If you click on the pictures it'll take you to the website (for all the girls who want to actually see the front and back of the dresses ;) boys don't tend to care).

I absolutely love this one ^^^

I feel like it would be perfect for me, very fashionably yet romantic!

I would have to try it on and see how the shape looks on me, but it's so gorgeous.

This one ^^^ is definitely more "traditional" with the shape,

but if I were to do an a-line/ball gown, this would definitely be it!

It's beautiful and I love the lace details.

Second: MY NEW SHOES. Oh...and I guess that new job type thing...
I hadn’t bought clothes or shoes in a while...I was in the process of changing jobs and stuff so I couldn’t buy anything because I didn’t know if I would have money for gas and food and what not for the next month! So now I have a steady job again and I’m stoked on it. My new job is pretty awesome! My boss is teaching me to make glasses and I’m doing all the minor repairs on glasses that people bring in. Most of that is just me tightening screws (or replacing them!), putting new temples on broken glasses, and replacing nose pads...but I’m actually enjoying it! I’m also doing a lot of the “chores” around the optical store. I open and close the store, and clean the windows every morning, and vacuum and sweep and any other cleaning that needs to be done! I also do things like filing, and organizing, but all in all I’m enjoying it and it doesn’t kill my back as much as my old job :)

Now...onto the shoes!
I saw them in Spring and I neeeeded them. There are a million other pairs of shoes I “need” too...but these ones were going to be my splurge for this month! They are a gorgeous pair of peep-toe, printed wedges and they are soooo comfortable! Any girl who likes heels but hates the pain...try a pair of wedges. I used to hate the look of a wedge heel, but it grew on me and now I love them :)

Thirdly:
I’m in a strange organizational phase right now.
I organized all my make-up and nail polish...and holy crap did that ever take a long time! Girls know that when you put all your make-up in one box...and one freaking powder breaks apart...the entire freaaaking box gets freaking covered in that stupid freaking powder. So long story short I had to clean up every single item that came out of the tool box I used to keep everything in. Now it’s all beautifully organized on my desk (which used to just store crap, not actual useful things).

I also hung up about 1/3 of all my clothing before I ran out of space/coat hangers. It’s so much easier to get dressed in the morning when it’s all just there and ready to be worn. I have a whooole bunch of other clothing that needs to be hung up, but I don’t have any more space in my tiny little room...so I need to move out and get a real closet!

Fourthly: LIGHTS AND JESSIE J.

I heart these two beautiful ladies. They are my current girl crushes.

Domino - Jessie J

Banner - LIGHTS

And my outfit of the day, just because: